Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Story of Us

In 1994 a boy bumped into me at my locker. He was tall- lanky...his hair hung in his face and was straw colored; he wore a flannel shirt, tight black jeans, and big boots. I was not happy with being so rudely bumped into that I yelled at him, went to push him but was dragged off by my friend Ken admonishing me to leave him alone.
A few days later I was sitting in the student lounge of the alternative high school I attended; senior year found me with only three classes needed to graduate, so in between I would study or read.  I heard people come in the room - it was the boy who I had so  memorably met at my locker. We both glanced up and held a long look. In that moment I knew there was something about him.
After that he started seeking me out and we would have long talks while I was in between classes, and he was skipping.  In the last day of school before graduation he tore a page out of A Catcher in the Rye, wrote his number on it and said, "If you ever feel like talking again-give me a call"
Two weeks later I did.
Two weeks we talked on the phone for hours each day.
One night he said he had to see me, and he picked me up at midnight. We drove around till 5am talking.
Two weeks after that he said "You are the kind of woman I want to marry" and there was an understanding that someday we would be.


One and a half years later we were married.

Four years after that we had our first child
...then a second
....then a third.
The early years were a struggle that smoothed out into something so comfortable, so partnered, with both of us more in love than I ever imagined possible.

Today finds us at our 15th wedding anniversary.  FIFTEEN years! I can't believe it has gone by so fast.  Hopefully we can make 60 more.....

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Friday, February 18, 2011

A Secret to My Happy Marriage

In a few weeks my husband and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.  This seems insane to me for a couple of reasons.
A) I don't feel old enough to be married so long
B) Weren't we married yesterday? Because I don't feel old enough to be married that long.

Clearly my disbelief hinges on my inability to accept my turning 35 this year.
Anyway...I have been thinking and trying to isolate little things that make us a good partnership and keep the happiness present year after year after year....

Today I realized a pretty big habit we have that creates marital harmony. My husband NEVER EVER EVER drives when we are together, I always drive.
Feeling a little...(maybe insane??) generous today, I didn't order him out of the driver seat when I came out of the grocery store after I dropped myself off and he took over the car in the parking lot.  I thought it would be nice to be a passenger for once and play on my phone or not worry about keeping us alive while driving a big dangerous machine around other big dangerous fast moving machines. (Because really, that is what cars are!)

He drove to the exit of the parking lot and since he didn't turn on the GPS he needed directions on where to go, I told him to turn right and then get into the far left lane in order to make a left hand turn at the light.

He turned right.
Got in the far left lane...
And then did a U-TURN around barrier (on a VERY BUSY ROAD!!!) and started driving the opposite way we needed to go.
I lost my sense of generosity and yelled to freaking pull the car over asked him to pull the car over because I was going to die of a heartattack and why did he do that?
He laughed.
I drove.
And will forever more.....because seriously, a good way to keep a marriage happy is to limit stress and things to argue over, and my husband, while a truly brilliant man- is a scary driver. 
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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Things I Have Learned About Men

1) If a man is hungry, do not talk to him, do not take offense at his grumbly-ness. Just smile and nod, and get him some food STAT. After he eats he will turn from being a bear into his nice normal self. DO not be alarmed at this transformation, it just happens, it is weird, but normal.  This also pertains to small men of all ages. If they are grouchy, feed them.

2) If there is a tech device in hand, he cannot hear you. There may be nodding, may be some "mmm-hmms" but he does not hear you.  This is your chance to say very strange things to him...and chances are they did sink in and he will later ask you "Did you say that the alien invasion is happening at 11:13 tonight and that they are coming to take away my underwear?" and you can reply with big innocent eyes, "NOOO, of course I would never say anything so weird, are you ok?"
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